Underground Desire
by Nonsense-Shit
Summary: They didn't choose the badass life. The badass life chose them.
1. What Lies Beneath The Veil

**Chpt 1: What Lies Beneath The Veil**

Petra was proud of her girls. Even though the café was a little short-handed today with Ymir and Sasha out of commission due to the flu, the rest were covering their duties like it was a piece of cake with strawberries on top; their special today. As usual, it's a full house. Their daily specials never fails to attract new customers and their regulars are die-hard fans of them; there are occasions where customers queue up at dawn or even the night before, just to ensure they will be able to snag some before it got sold out.

Sweets for my Sweet – This little café had started off as a small shop, tucked away in a corner of Sina's developing town but word of their mouth-watering desserts and excellent service got out and here they are, five years later, in a two storey building with over two dozen capable employees.

SFMS's menu is not the only attraction they have to offer. There is an elevated corner – Swing Me – where instead of the usual four-legged wooden chairs, there are swings; not the dingy, rusty kind but one out of a fairy tale. The seat itself is made of veneer wood with a small backrest and the ropes are pale yellow intertwined with (fake) vines. Even though you couldn't swing it like a normal swing, people still enjoy sitting there, basking in the sunlight during afternoons, surrounded by beautiful albeit fake shrubs and savouring the heavenly coffee brewed by lovely Petra.

Busy as always, Petra was behind the counter working her magic when she heard a commotion. Asking Annie who was approaching, she said _someone_ has been trying to hit on Krista for the past fifteen minutes. Petra scowled, part of her feeling a mix of gladness and _what-a-waste_ that Ymir was absent but mostly pissed because she knows where this is going to lead. Stepping out and asking Annie to take over for a while, she headed over to her sweetest and tiniest waitress.

Placing her hand gently on Krista's shoulder, Petra told her she is needed in the kitchen urgently. Grateful for the rescue, Krista scurried off into the kitchen; most probably to vent her anger by kicking discarded carton boxes and swearing a great deal.

Turning her attention to the customers whom Krista was trying to serve, she greeted, "Good afternoon, sirs. May I assist you with your order?"

The blondie made a _tch_ sound and picked up the extra menu while his dark-haired buddy who was playing with it before decided to look through it thoroughly this time.

_You assholes have been here for the past fifteen minutes and you only look through the menu now?! Good thing I don't mix personal and business, otherwise….._

Petra was about to drop her service smile when blondie gruffed out, "Black with two sugar."

"Very well. What about you sir?" She turned to the brunette who can't seem to make up his mind.

"I can't decide. Do you have any recommendations?"

"If you would like something sweet, our daily special – Sweetie Shortcake – is still available." She points to a picture of it. "We also have chocolate custard cake and mango pudding, two of our best-sellers. If sweets are not to your liking, we do have lemon meringue pie and chocolate soufflé made of seventy percent dark cocoa."

"I'll take the shortcake." He closed the menu.

"Sheesh Bert, sweets? Really?"

"I had too much coffee in the morning and I reek of caffeine now. I need something sweet to balance it out."

Blondie rested his big head on his palm and faced the window, muttering, "Says the guy who inhales ten cups of it every day."

Petra collected the menus and assured them with a smile that their orders will be served shortly. She headed to the kitchen to find Krista who was still releasing her anger. "Just what did they do? I've never seen you react this way when guys hit on you last time." Petra leaned against the wall, amused because Krista's acting is world-class.

"THAT FUCKER TRIED TO FEEL ME UP!" She screamed

Petra's brow twitched because one, how dare that punk tried to molest her girl, and two, Krista's shouting could be heard from the café.

"WHY CAN'T WE FIGHT BACK NOW?!"

"Because you will get your revenge tonight. Now, go serve them with a smile and I will try not to spit into that shit's coffee." Petra turned, signalling the end of their conversation and that it's time to put up their front again.

* * *

Sure enough, Krista was pumped up and rearing to go by nightfall. Dressed in her normal garments which consisted of an all-black outfit save for a light blue inner top, she slung her weapon bag over her shoulder. Behind her, Nanaba tucked her choice of weapon into the holster located at the small of her back and a couple of spares in her boots.

"Ready?"

"Since this afternoon." Krista gritted her teeth.

"Be careful you two. Nanaba, you're in charge. If anything happens, just fire a cracker." Hanji cackled at her own joke.

"And alert the horde? No thanks." Turning to Krista, Nanaba told her to get a move on it, saying something along the lines of wanting to get some sleep tonight, complaining about shitty clients commenting on her eye bags and redundant stuff.

* * *

Choosing a spot shrouded in darkness, Krista geared up her newest baby; an Erma SR-100 sniper rifle. Gifted to her on her 18th birthday by her family, she longed for the day to put this darling in action. Not only will Krista get to play with it tonight; this part of town will be the perfect playground to test out her new weapon. Her previous night scope malfunctioned after Sasha used it on one mission – to which Hanji banned Sasha from eating any potatoes for two weeks – so she couldn't join them on night missions.

While Krista was readying her darling for her revenge, Nanaba was standing guard outside at the door, feeling bored because tonight's not her night; but that doesn't mean she is letting her guard down. She could feel her muscles tensing up for any probable situations, running all sorts of images on how the night might end even though her brain was shutting down because she will not let anyone die on her watch.

"Sorry" Krista said softly.

"For?"

"Hanji made you tag along. I would've been fine on my own, you know?"

"Don't say stupid stuff." Nanaba left it at that. Krista knew Nanaba meant no harm because she was the first person to offer her salvation when she was at the deepest, darkest point of her life. Not only did Nanaba saved her; she gave her a new life; Krista entered her family; and Nanaba didn't stop there. She guided her through their daily operations to habits, secret missions to lifestyle, Krista is forever indebted to Nanaba.

Peering through her scope, seeking out the blood she craves to spill all over the ground which was once flooded with tears of the defeated, Krista is now in 'Historia' mode, as they dubbed it. The lively, cheery Krista everybody dotes on and wants to keep her all to themselves and her hidden true self; the side of her that grew up without love and outcasted by her true family.

Like a hawk, Historia had no problem seeking out her prey through her scope. _If only that giant isn't in the way..._

She wouldn't risk a shot to anyone who had the unfortunate luck of being with Reiner; also known as The Armoured One. He's always part of the vanguard whenever he appears in their fights because his sheer build never fails to intimidate the newbies during their inauguration.

_Tch_, Krista clicked her tongue at the memory.

"At least render him unable to fight for an extended period of time if you are unable to take him out for good; I know you wouldn't listen to me even if I told you to give up if it isn't a clean shot." Nanaba advised without turning to look at Historia to know her hesitance.

"Damn right you are."

Adjusting her barrel, Historia kissed her rifle and whispered, "Welcome to the family." and pulled the trigger.

* * *

A/N 1: Many lovely thanks to dearest pammazola for proofreading this (´ ▽｀).。ｏ

A/N 2: This is a multi-chapter fanfiction, mostly focused on **Rivetra**. Depending on how the story develops, other pairings may surface (But don't get your hopes up).


	2. Puppies and Paycheck

**Chpt 2: Puppies and Paycheck **

"Nice bandage you've got there, Rein. Never knew white compliments your skin colour." Snickers could be heard from the assholes he call comrades; soon-to-be dead comrades if they don't shut their trap.

"Fuck off, before I fucking punch your balls out." He flipped the finger with his only working arm. Walking around to the back of the room to join Bert and Connie, he sank into the couch with the grace of a duckling, all the while grumbling underneath his breath. If you paid close attention, you could pick up curses like "Bitch ass", "Fucking puny cunt", "Stupid Blondie."

Bertolt overheard the "blondie" comment and kindly reminded Reiner that he is a blond too while flipping through the latest porn magazine the guys pilfered from the store. "Shit, why the fuck must you remind me?" Reiner laid his heavy head onto coffee table and groaned his poignant agony into the cherrywood top.

"Good thing I shaved my head. No more hair jokes to deal with." Connie laughed while rubbing his monk head.

"Yeah. No more girls to deal with either. Even the blind will not be attracted to you with that disgusting hairstyle of yours." A second of silence later, Eren continued, "Wait. Can that even be considered as a hairstyle? … Since, you know, there is no hair left." The group burst out laughing at Eren's jab while Connie could only pout; his luck with girls is even worse than before he shaved his head, no thanks to their vile prank. These guys have zero empathy for their victim; they only laughed at him when he was running around finding the nearest source of water after they fucking set his hair on fire when he was asleep!

"Laugh. Laugh all you want. Don't cry when you find a bullet in your ass while you're jerking off in your sleep, Jaeger."

"Just pray I don't fart before you pull the trigger." Another round of laughter could be heard all the way from outside their base.

The door slammed open, revealing an enraged shorty – who resembles a steaming kettle – and an unperturbed giant. Mike took a deep breath – and promptly choked. "It stinks in here."

"You faggots heard him. I expect this place to be free of dust, dirt, stain, grime of any type when I get back. Otherwise, prepare to meet your pitiful maker." Levi stormed in and stopped in front his office door. Turning his head, he shouted, "Gin, Schulz, Bossard, Jaeger! Get your incompetent asses into my office in ten minutes!" Levi slammed his door shut; hard enough for the wall to shake and the rookies to pee in their pants.

Erd, the oldest among the summoned, approached Mike and asked, "What happened?"

The only response he got – a meaningful smirk.

"Fuck my life." The four muttered. None of them have settled their will; not that they will be leaving anything of value behind.

Their time was approaching and poor Eren was coerced into being the one to knock on the devil's door. _Fuck you, Auruo_.

"Enter before I drag your sorry ass in!"

The 'Fearful Four' scurried in like the rats they aren't – depending on whose point of view you are looking from. To be honest, they'd rather face Death than Levi, because he is the father of all death. His bark is worse than his bite, and they have seen – even been – the subject of his punches. Everyone came to an unanimous conclusion; it's a punishment worse than having your mum throw out all your porn magazines and burning them in front of your teary doe-eyes, begging her to stop while kneeling on the gravel.

"Anything you fools ought to report before I sentence you to death?" Levi was scribbling furiously, probably some report of his own to the shit heads above; some stuff just cannot be relayed through technology, lest they got tracked.

Glancing at one another as though they have absolutely no clue, they all shook their heads.

"I can hear the air currents colliding in the empty space in your head. If nobody wants to use their mouth, I'll gladly slice it off with the bluntest knife I can find and feed it to the dogs."

"There is nothing to report, sir! All operations and missions were fulfiled without any mistake." Auruo spoke up.

Levi set down his pen and leaned back in his leather chair. "I heard 'without any mistake'. Define 'without any mistake'. You have five seconds to explain and it started two seconds ago."

"Everything went smoothly and there wasn't a single hitch, sir!" Auruo blabbered a little too quickly for his tongue to catch up and ended up biting it. _Ouch_.

"So…" He leaned forward and stared right into their eyes. "As long as the operation gets through it means everything went right, is that what you mean?"

Auruo was still nursing his self-inflicted injury, hands covering his mouth so his leader would not see the blood trickling out; all he could do is to nod. Nobody saw it coming; all they heard was a _woosh_ and a crashing sound behind them. The other three turned slowly and saw Levi's weapon had smashed the hideous china.

"Was that why the account transactions got all mixed up?! Because you brainless shits are too dumb to read between the lines?! Many thanks to your superfluous incompetence, the cops almost busted us this afternoon!" Levi hurled his other brass knuckle towards Jaeger, almost hitting his precious puppies.

"Sor –"

"If you are gonna say sorry, save it for your fiancée when you kiss her behind jail bars." Levi cut Erd off. He was sick and tired of listening to their sorry excuses. If Levi had not produced their pseudo files in time, everyone in Void would be having free accommodation for the rest of their life.

"Get out of here and join the other pigs in cleaning up the base."

His four subordinates rushed out; Eren hurrying to the toilet to check if his balls are still intact. You can't blame the guy for worrying about his sperm factory; he doesn't want his family line to die with him. He strongly believes his children will inherit his captivating emeralds; maybe even his shaggy hairdo and _woah la_! A Mini-Me is born.

"What the fuck is wrong with Eren?" Jean noticed him shoving his way to the loo.

"He almost became a eunuch against his will." Gunther said. All of them were exhausted after the short meeting with Satan; mentally and physically. Even their most intense street fights with Vogel were less draining than this torture. They vividly remember the terrifying image of Levi smashing a recruit's head against the wall after he overheard him mentioning his lack of height and handed the guy's ass on a silver platter to the police. Of course, no evidence was left behind for the blue shits to trace.

"MY UNBORN SPAWN! THEY LIVE!" They could hear Eren's shout of happiness.

* * *

While the gang was busy trying to get their shit together because the devil is in the house, SFMS' girls were going through their usual day, although you could hear a few _congratulations_ going around. Every Vogel had heard what happened the night before; do not underestimate the time taken for news to spread around in a female-dominated place. Krista was in an extremely good mood because _that asshole got what he deserves _– though not as much as she wished. Ymir was the first to give her a bear-hug because _you go girl!_

"Awww, too bad I was hibernating yesterday. Otherwise I could have joined in the fun." She sulked.

Krista tip-toed and patted Ymir's brown locks. "Don't be so sad. There's always another time." Ymir opened her eyes and saw Krista giving off bright sparkles; a goddess.

"KRISTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ymir picked up her in a bone-crushing hug. "YOU ARE THE BEST! MARRY ME NOW!"

Petra walked in on the romantic proposal and raised a perfectly trimmed brow. Walking past them to retrieve some coffee beans, she said, "Wait until the shop closes before you elope, girls. It's lunch time soon and you know how busy we get during afternoons." Petra tried to reach for the beans placed on the shelf and is getting pissed because "WHO THE FUCK PLACED THOSE ON TOP?! DON'T THEY REALISE HOW SHORT I AM?! WAIT TILL I GET MY MANICURED HANDS ON THEM!"

"Guess I better warn Hanji to take cover then." Ymir snickered and retrieved the much-needed beans for the short honey-haired woman.

"I'm gonna strangle her the next time I see that maniac. She still owes me a hundred bucks from that last bet."

"Oooooh, you mean the one where she bet she could drink the blondie under the table at the club?"

Petra snorted as lady-like as possible but it was a lost cause. "Yeah, that one. Nanaba and I had to drag her pretty, drunken ass back home." She recalled the shock she got when she saw Hanji making out with a Void member; good thing Petra saved her otherwise Hanji's corpse would be found at dawn, floating down the filthy river face-down.

"Oh well, time to get back to work. The food aren't gonna get served by themselves." Petra opened the door but stopped and turned. Smiling at Krista, she congratulated her, "Good job last night, Kris. But next time, shatter his shoulder bone; it will take him out for at least two months." Petra winked and went down to work.

The lovely barista was about done with the long order when Rico knocked on the counter, "Good afternoon, Pet. Busy as usual, I see."

"I'd rather be busy because money doesn't fall from the sky. Only bullets." She said while straining the grounds out.

"Unfortunately." Reaching in to grab a cup, Petra scowled at her because she just made that. "Oh well, I'll see you in your office. I've got news on _them_."

Petra got back to work and finished up her order; eager to hear whatever news the goddess-with-a-thousand-ears-and-eyes had brought with her. Once the crowd had settled and things slowed down, Petra had Annie take over. She found Rico typing away on her laptop when she entered her office. Ejecting her thumbdrive out, Rico said, "I've transferred the files over. Use the fourth-fifth-tenth password for this."

"Got it." Reclaiming her seat, she grimaced because Rico's hot ass warmed it too much for her liking. Typing away to unlock the data, she scanned quickly, filtering out worthless comments and speculations made by Rico's colleagues. "This is interesting. Have you scooped out the details?"

"No. It's not every day Void fucks up their deals in broad daylight but the police is keeping a tight seal on this. I mean, who would have imagined seeing the books of the mayor." Rico rolled her eyes; she had seen the unsightly pictures of the whores the mayor slept with and the amount they're paid. Zackly would rise from the dead if he sees his successor's deeds.

Hanji burst through her door and slammed it closed, like a kid who heard the ice cream truck ringing outside her house with a big, fat grin on her face. "Not only that. That fat ass actually commissioned me for a ring!"

"MY HUNDRED BUCKS!"

"Forget about that!" Hanji pointedly ignores Petra's pout because she does not have enough cash in her Prada wallet right now. "I've seen the design and requirements and let. me. tell. you. It has a whooping six-digit price tag hanging on it."

Petra and Rico whistled and grumbled variations of _why has no one ever bought that kind of stuff for us_. Hanji snort-laughed like the maniac everyone knows her. It's a miracle that she hasn't choked on her saliva before. "Because they are all wimps. Nobody will dare to approach us, especially when they are in our territory." She smirked, her specs reflecting the sunlight and obscuring her chocolate orbs.

The next second, all three ladies were groaning.

"Soon, the only time we will get laid is when we blindfold them."

"Or if we drug them."

"Or if we undergo plastic surgery."

Petra and Rico shot their head up and glared at Hanji. "Shut the fuck up, rich bitch. Not everyone earns as much moolah as you do."

Hanji laughed the endearing insult off, knowing her Petra baby's words has no heat in it. "Cheer up! I've got a pay raise anyway so let's hit the club! My treat!"

"I'm gonna take a chunk out of your bank account this time. I swear on my tattoos."

"And mine."

"And probably the rest of the girls too." Petra added.

"Meanies! All of you!"

* * *

A/N 1: Some Rivetra-ish scenes next chapter, anyone?


	3. Talk to the Fist

**Chpt 3: Talk to the Fist**

Hanji isn't one for regrets since she _usually_ knows what she is doing, like smashing that one guy's shin with her weapon two weeks ago; she could still remember the cry he howled out when his bone shattered beneath the blistered skin. She loves to hang out with the girls but seeing almost the entire gang waiting outside the club, she could just hear her bank account crying when she has yet swipe for the first tab. It wasn't all that hard to imagine her card lying in the ICU, hooked up against a life-support machine, trying its very best to stay alive. Holding back a cringe before the night begin, she slowly walked over, mentally calculating how many jewellry she has to craft in order to recover tonight's expenses.

"Are you out for my life?" She harshly whispered into Petra's ears, realising she meant what she said earlier.

"Of course. Take it as interest for that hundred bucks you owe me a gazillion years ago." She smirked.

She knew Petra can be ruthless to the enemy but to her ally?! Looks can be deceiving indeed.

"Maybe I should seek shelter from you. Do you think Void is recruiting right now?" and a pause of silence. "Wait, are they present tonight?"

"According to my sources, we may have to be on guard. And look over there." Nodding her head in a certain direction, Hanji shifted her eyes inconspicuously. Sure enough, she saw the guy she crushed two weeks ago.

* * *

Hanji hasn't been to their recent missions to know all the details, but who needs details when you get to have some fun? According to Anka, the other party has also hired bodyguards, to word it nicely. In reality, all they did was hire their adversary because only Void could go up against Vogel and vice versa; the two strongest gang in Wall Town. They usually do not cross paths regularly because their territories are in the opposite directions; Vogel in the east, Void in the west. Even if they come face to face in Sina, Central of Wall Town, they do not make trouble for the other because it's only in Sina where the police actually has balls.

It is actually a good thing for Vogel; they are able to manage their business peacefully without worrying whether their shop would get set on fire in the middle of the night. And even if the dickheads try to push their luck, the police rounds them up faster than a cheetah chasing after its prey because the blue shirts always has their eyes on them.

Although SFMS brings the main portion of their funds, tough but quick jobs like these brings in quite a bit too. The money is good – depending how stingy or loaded their client is – and you get the adrenaline rush a café job wouldn't give. Sure, you may not come out unscathed but that's why they have weapon training. Make no mistake; just because all of them are female doesn't mean they are weak; underestimating their prowess will only land you in the morgue, and if you are lucky, the hospital.

So while Hanji was standing guard of Sasha, their exclusive hacker who was busy at work, a Void member found their hiding place. Instead of radioing the others to alert them of what's happening, Hanji all too happily attacked the poor soul, letting go of her emotions and venting stress from work onto the unlucky bastard who found them; Sasha didn't even bat an eyelid and continued to chew her bread while her fingers fly all over the keyboard in a fury dance because the average fighter can only dream of defeating Hanji and her weapons that are as eccentric as the user, twin nunchakus, in their dreams. She even considered stuffing the remaining chow into the guy's mouth when he screamed in pain, since the racket was distracting her.

Oh well, whatever. The important thing was they completed the job without any serious injury and payment was swiftly deposited into their account.

* * *

"And I thought bone injuries heal much slower. Maybe I should have torn his leg apart." She grumbled. But after some thought, Hanji added, "What the fuck is he doing here anyway? How the fuck do you club with that humongous cast? If he thinks he can get laid like that, I will be the next Madonna."

Petra had to hold her laughter in as she nudged Hanji in the ribs; she can't imagine doing the do with a cast in the way.

"Oh well, it seems that they have cleared the area for us." Petra saw Ymir waving them over. "Let's go in."

Good thing Vogel has a club membership with _The S-Legion_ because without reservations, it would be near impossible to get in. Nobody knows what the 'S' actually stands for but some says it's 'Sassy', some says it's 'Sina', but most of them insists it is 'Shitty' just because they cannot afford the member fees. But to Vogel, it's worth every single dollar; after all, it's cheaper if you sign up for group membership and they split the bill evenly at the end of the year.

S-Legion is _the_ club to go to in Wall Town. No other clubbing house comes close to their standards. There are several floors in this spunky establishment. First level consists of a large dance pit with a mini stage for those likes to attract attention. Shining above them are dozens of lights working hard as usual to give people the hallucination of a false sense of reality. Not far from the pit of groove is the bar, manned by some of the best bartenders from all over the world who are not afraid to show off their handsy skills. Plentiful bottles line the structure above the suavey dudes, illuminating the lights that shone through even more. The real alcohol is stashed away though, under the polished marble counter top where all kinds of liquid transaction goes through but still unable to hide from the strong vibrations booming out from the speakers. The second level is available if you, er, have connections with the guard dogs. Tables and bar stools line the edge, allowing you to have clear view of what's going on downstairs. Comfy, cushioned booths are available too if you have reservations made like, four months ago. The upper levels are usually reserved for the ones with real cash; its accessibility offering privacy and special services if you know what you are looking for.

The big group of females sat at their booths, some already scurrying away to order whatever their liver could handle without giving away, yet.

"Maybe I should just order a bottle of mineral water..."

"And pay five bucks for that? You might as well go to the toilet and drink from the tap. It's freeflow."

Hanji grimaces at the thought. _Eww_. "Ah! Fuck this shit! I'm gonna order everything I can drink until I pass out."

"Fuck you. I'm not going to haul your ass back again." Nanaba threw a coaster towards the spectacled mad woman. "You're a nightmare to handle. At least have the decency to not strip while you are still out on the streets."

"Hey! I was inebriated. How was I supposed to control my actions when I can hardly see straight?" Hanji scowled while trying to squeeze her way out of the booth but gave up soon and climbed over Petra and Rene. "And I'm not gonna sit in the middle when I get back." She exclaimed and ran off to get the booze.

Rico shifted around, trying to make herself as comfortable in the tight skirt Anka _persuaded_ her to wear with the sweetest smile she has ever seen and it reminded her of Petra, with a dash too much of maliciousness beneath it. Anka obviously noticed her discomfort since she knows how much Rico hates skirts. Smirking, she said, "Enjoying the air between your legs?"

Rico flipped her finger. "You know how much I hate them and using such an underhand tactic… Tsk! And now, I can't even bend without flashing my undies for the whole world to see."

"Oh relax." Petra waved her hand around aimlessly. "The only time you will be bending is over the table when the guy over there gets under your skirt."

Following Petra's discreet direction, the girls looked around. True to her words, they spotted a tall, lanky blond with a hairstyle probably from the 80s. He looks malnourished, and that middle parting isn't improving his looks. Trying his best to avert his tiny eyes away from Rico, he quickly down his shot and almost choked ungraciously on it.

The whole group made a face, "Oooo…"

"Nope, nope and nope."

"Fuck no."

"Never."

"I'd rather be a nun."

"I'm baaack, babies!" Hanji announced her arrival, balancing two trays filled with all kinds of shots. The girls helped to place the glasses down and Hanji threw the empty tray onto the table of the empty booth next to them.

"To robbing Hanji!"

Hanji whipped her head to Rico and toasted, "To Rico, hope she gets laid before she wakes up tomorrow.

The others laughed and downed their shots expertly. Anka, Rene, Rico and Hanji got up after downing a few other shots and dragged the other girls from the other booths to the jam-packed dance floor. Petra observed them as they left the booths empty. Most of them are dressed sensibly but there always a few who wear heels too high that always result in a sprained ankle the next day.

Petra's eyes widened. "That's a first."

"What is?" Nanaba asked, looking up from her phone, pausing her typing for a while.

"Annie and Ymir wore a skirt. A short one, at that."

Nanaba couldn't believe what she heard and quickly zoomed her eyes to the mentioned. "Wow. Never thought I'd live to see this day. Krista and Mina probably hid their pants; I wouldn't be surprised if they went to the extent of burning them. Those two can be scary if riled up." Petra nodded her head, totally agreeing Nanaba's statement.

"Not going to dance tonight?"

"Nah, I'll pass. Not in the mood to get humped by animals in heat." Petra could see from where she sat how hyped up the crowd had gotten. She even saw someone stripping on stage, gaining cat-calls and loud whistles from those who are enjoying the free show. "I'm just glad that's not Hanji."

Nanaba shuddered at the thought of Hanji stripping. It's a terror by itself.

Petra and Nanaba chilled out in their booth, glad that everything is paid for by the rich freak grooving her ass down below with the horde. Nodding her to the beat of the music, Petra mentally made a list of potential drunks they have to lug home today. Hanji will definitely be one, that's for sure. And Sasha; that girl is like a mini Hanji but one obsessed with potatoes and bread.

Getting slightly restless from the alcohol in her system, Petra headed to the bar downstairs to see just how inebriated her friends are and to get more drinks. She wouldn't be surprised if some of them had already headed somewhere to make out and frick-frack. _Only hope they remembered to use protection_, she smirked.

Petra slinked up to the bar, getting ready to order when she heard a commotion in the corner. Curiousity got to her and started making her way to see who is getting their lights punched out soon.

She isn't surprised that it was Annie who was being held back; but she was quite speechless when she saw it was Mikasa who kept Annie from clawing the guy's eyes out. The two of them never really got along but this brings 'getting along' to a whole new level. 'Big Sis' Petra stepped towards her sisters and asked what was going on.

"That Void guy tried to hit on Annie and even suggested to 'have a little fun' at his house. Annie refused, of course. But he was quite persistent and began to feel her up and, you know Annie." Mikasa shrugged while keeping her hold on the struggling blond from slipping away.

Petra turned to the boy who undoubtedly received a punch from one of her strongest girl; that bruise is going into full bloom within the next few hours. "Annie, I think you hurt his ego rather than his face. Good job."

"I don't take shit lying down and that asshole deserves more than a punch for groping me."

"Hey! All I did was laid my hand on your hip!" The boy screamed.

"Nobody asked you to lay anything on me, dimwit!"

"Just be glad someone tried to pick you up tonight. With that nose of yours, you probably scared away evil spirits too!"

Petra has half a mind to let Annie whip the guy into oblivion and with Mikasa's brow twitching, she seems to be on the same wavelength. Annie would probably have steam coming from her nostrils and ears like a bull if this was a cartoon show but it isn't, so she lunged forward again to try to shut his trap. The boy seems to agree to her actions and lunged forward, only to be held back by his friend who looks like a horse.

"Jaeger! What the fuck are you doing?!"A deep, masculine voice boomed.

Everyone turned to the newcomer. Walking towards them with an air of authority despite the lack of height, Levi glared at 'Jaeger'.

Horse-face spoke up all the while smirking, "Eren failed to get his target and got whacked for it."

Levi turned up the glare even more and grabbed the front of Eren's shirt and yanked him to his height, "You noob! Why go for the fugly so early in the night? Or are you that drunk where you can't tell the hideous from the acceptable ones?"

If Annie was pissed before, she is absolutely steaming right now. Before she could spit her words out, Petra raised her voice. "Who the fuck do you think are you calling fugly?"

Petra is the sunshine in the gang because nobody dares to piss her off. Mainly because the kindest people are usually the fiercest ones when you flick their switch and an angry Petra is worst then an angry mob.

"Are you deaf or are you fucking deaf? Or you can't hear as well as the rest of us do because the air down there is too muffled?"

"Says the guy who is dwarfed by his surroundings." Petra shot back. It is the truth; the only person shorter than Levi in the gang is Connie and that baldy isn't around.

Levi's glare grew darker if it was possible and started to inch towards Petra who stood her ground. If there's anything he hates, it is imbeciles and being made fun of.

"I dare you to repeat that, bitch," he said in a low but audible voice.

"Are you deaf or are you fucking deaf?" she parroted him. "Or do you need me to spell it out for you like a kid? You. Are. Short."

Levi raised his fist, ready to slam a hole into Petra's pretty little face. Petra too had her fist raised, not one to take any shit from anybody. But before their tiny but deadly fists made contact, two figures caught them and held back. Hanji had to get Petra in a chokehold otherwise the tiny lady will just slip out from her arms. A strong blond held Levi back by his arms, even lifting him slightly off the ground because he is so much taller than the short prick.

"Erwin, let the fuck go of me!" Levi struggled like a small lion but the guy, Erwin, doesn't seem to have broken a sweat in restraining the feisty midget.

"Calm down, unless you want me to get Mike to lift you by the legs as well."

Levi is struggling physically and mentally; hell, he wants the ginger bitch to taste his fist but the humiliation he has to live with the rest of his life if two guys have to tow him away like a cow is unbearable. Giving in because his ego is at stake at this time, he stopped putting up a fight and shrugged Erwin's arms off violently.

"Fine." Levi turned to Petra who seemed to have fire in her eyes. "Just pray I don't see you again." He flipped both fingers and turned and disappeared into the crowd.

"And I pray that you grow an inch or two!"

* * *

A/N 1: I love pammazola more and more each passing day! Thank you for proofreading this chapter too!

A/N 2: This is Rivetra-ish enough, for now.


	4. Levi Hates Birds & Bitches

**Chpt 4: Levi Hates Birds & Bitches**

Two weeks have passed but the memory still fresh in Hanji's kooky mind. It started off with a little chuckle, slowly morphing into not-so-soft snorts, and finally evolved into its final form; a full-blown laughter accompanied with table-banging and tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Shouldn't you be at work instead of here, banging my table and laughing like a demented witch?" Petra scowled, fighting the urge to shove Hanji out of her office because the accounts doesn't input themselves. Hanji obviously ignored her, continuing her obnoxious laughter while rolling all over the varnished floor. _3… 2… 1…_

_Bang!_

"That's what… you get for… rolling all over the place when you… are not as short as I am." Petra choked out, her turn to laugh at Hanji who was currently nursing a bruise on her forehead, tears of pain flowing out this time.

Hanji pouted and crawled her way to the leather chair in front of Petra, plopping her ass down as graciously as someone who is seeing doubles. "Meanie, laughing at my demise." Hanji said, one eye scrunched from the pain. Petra only shrugged a shoulder.

"But still, I can't believe you aimed where it hurts. Just brilliant! I've never seen anyone glared that hard before; I thought he was gonna shit in his pants, judging by that constipated look." And the hysterical laughter started again.

"Of course. He deserved it anyway. That puny midget making of Annie, unforgivable!" Petra slammed the table, making the stack of papers flew two inches into the air and landed in an unorganised pile. _The nerve of him!_ Petra swore to kick his ass the next time she sees him, or maybe land a good one on his head so he shrinks even more while Hanji bit back the urge to add a comment about her lack of height too; she does not want to get on Petra's bad side. Not now, not ever.

* * *

While Petra was busy abusing the innocent keyboard, stabbing every letter into it like it murdered her family in cold blood, Levi was busy playing darts in his office; no points awarded if you guessed correctly as to whose picture was pinned against the board.

_That bitch! Just wait until the next time I see her!_ Levi flung the dart, piercing Petra's chest this time. Levi took a long drag from the cigarette hanging lazily at the side of his mouth, feeling more and more disgusted with himself for lighting the damned stick. Contrary to popular belief, Levi doesn't like smoking because it stinks his entire being; his clothes reek, teeth stained yellow and only god knows what colours his lungs are right now, how unbecoming of someone who loves cleanliness. Some of his subordinates even suspect he masturbates to cleaning products, to which he promptly clarified he's as straight as his dick is when it's hard. He thinks no one took him seriously though, because he heard poorly muffled snickers before he slammed the door shut.

Quickly stubbing the cig on the silver ashtray beside him, Levi thought about today's agenda.

_The den's checked yesterday, accounts are up-to-date, there's no lack of ero magazines outside for the horny dogs, and all the goods have arrived and stored properly, what else is there for me to? Erwin can go fuck himself with the paperwork, I'm done with that._ Levi's face lit up, or as much it could. _Maybe…_

Retrieving his phone from his pack pocket, Levi opened the application called 'Flappy Bird'. The only reason why Levi even plays this game is because of that bastard, the one and only, Erwin Smith.

* * *

It was a slow Sunday when Erwin, Mike, and the three stooges crashed his place at _three in the fucking morning_. Apparently the bar they were in got arsoned; totally not done by them, but perhaps it got burned because there were there that night. "Oops." He remembered Erwin saying with a straight face, not bothering to greet him and invited himself and the group in.

Looking around the sparkling clean room, they spotted a mop, bristle brush, cloths and some alien germ-killing product, Mike tried not to choke, "How many bottles of disinfectant did you use this time?"

"Only three." Levi tried not to roll his eyes at the dramatic gestures Mike was making. It's only three bottles, not the usual five.

"Why are you even cleaning at this hour?" Erd asked, bewildered because he doesn't know of anyone who cleans at three in the fucking morning. If it was up to him, he'd be busy frick-fracking with his fiancée till dawn.

"I was planning to sleep after this but I can forget about it now. _Because you assholes show up out of the blue. _Why the fuck are you creeps even here?" Levi unintentionally dodged the question; he himself doesn't know why he was cleaning; it just felt right – only to him and nobody else.

"The night's still young, Levi. Erd is avoiding his temperamental lady until she bleeds finish and the rest of us have no partners to shag for the night. And we know you are alone because you have no partner since, I can't remember, forever? We figured you could use a little company since… you… are a lonely soul like the rest of us." Mike smirked at the end like a know-it-all.

Levi raised his brow slightly, "So what? You've come here for an orgy?"

Auruo bit his tongue at that question, his teeth totally ignoring the gum in his mouth. Gunther wordlessly handed the wounded idiot a tissue, knowing his friend will be having his period soon, albeit from the wrong opening.

"Wouldn't it be 'unsanitary' according to you?" Mike asked, fingers moving up and down to quote Levi's usual words of wisdom – words that usually goes in one ear and out the other because their hygiene levels are oceans apart.

Levi wrinkled his nose. "How vulgar."

By this time, Erwin had already made himself comfortable; legs propped onto the coffee table – shoes removed of course, jacket shed and thrown onto the backrest, flipping through the magazine with _mature contents_ that he hasn't read since it was published three months ago. Only ten pages in and he had enough of over-sized racks and pulled out his phone instead. Erd, Gunther and Auruo decided to hijack his console but not before Levi warned them to wash their filthy hands before touching any of his stuff. Mike decided to head to the balcony and huff a puff since he knows Levi loves the smell of disinfectant more than anything.

Since the three little pigs have commandeered his TV, he resigned to fate and just made himself comfortable on the sofa, leaning his head against his knuckles while his other arm hugged the hideous pillow the gang gave him for Christmas and birthday last year. _Stingy pricks, all of them_; over a hundred members and they only gave him this ugly head pillow with a picture of the black bird from Angry Birds and his clones.

Mike said it looks and acts like him but Levi doesn't even play Angry Birds, so the first thing he did when he got home was to download the application. When he finally reached the stage where Bomb appears, he cursed out loud, insulting their parents and siblings; Erwin's in particular because that faggot suggested the present and it snowballed from there. Stuffed at the back of his storeroom was an army of Bomb plushies in all sizes, from the size of a yoga ball to the size of… baby tomatoes.

It's been over an hour since their unwelcomed arrival and Erwin still had his phone stuck to his face. Levi got curious, wondering what was so interesting.

"Oi, what are you doing?" His eyes shifted to Erwin's focused face.

"Playing a game, if you must know." He swore a tick appeared near Erwin's mouth.

_Erwin. Game. Erwin. Game. Erwin. Game. Er – Gam… Wait, what?!_

"Huh?!" Levi's face contorted with confusion. "Since when did you start playing games?"

"Since Armin beat the rest."

"Too vague."

"Long story short; juniors challenged each other, Armin won, he challenged me because nobody else was left, I lost."

"And what's the game called?" Levi was getting intrigued, seeing Erwin lost to someone. _Like finally._

"Flappy Bird." Levi made a face at the name. "And we have a small bet where he would get an undercut like mine if he lost at our next match."

"… Should I know what will happen if you lose?" Levi asked because Erwin's train of thoughts are rather… eccentric compared to the rest of them – as if Levi's was any better.

"We simply get each other's hairstyles."

Levi shuddered at the image formed in his mind.

_Erwin. Helmet head. Erwin. Helmet head. Erwin. Helmet head. Er – Helm… Omfg!_

"I wish you the best of luck." Levi said in all seriousness.

"I know right."

Levi went back to observing the three little pigs, finding slight amusement from seeing Auruo leaning his body left and right while steering his car left and right.

"How about a bet? You and me." Erwin suggested.

Judging from Erwin's tone and the talk they had less than ten minutes ago, Levi had a bad feeling about this; his guts was churning and his hands itching for his brass knuckles hidden between the seat cushions.

"How about 'no'?"

"No."

_Fuck my life._

"Bastard." Levi muttered under his breath, already plotting Erwin's death. "What kind of bet?"

"Same game, different stakes. We will compete one week later. Loser obeys winner's one request. As simple as that."

"… What's the catch?" Levi asked warily; one can never take Erwin's words as it is.

"Nothing." He replied with a small smile. "Just that you'll be the one losing."

"Fuck you."

"Thanks for the invitation but I don't swing that way."

Levi threw the remote control towards Erwin's handsome face but said handsome man ducked just in time for it to hit Erd, who returned from his journey to the kitchen.

"Ow! What was that for?!" Erd looked over to the two who was feigning ignorance; one had his eyes closed and the other staring at his phone. "Motherfuckers…" he grumbled, while stuffing himself between Gunther and Auruo, who in return grumbled, saying stuff like _Fat ass_ and _Urrrgh_.

A few minutes passed before Erwin continued on, "So, are you up for it?"

"I'll pass."

"Too chicken or not enough balls?"

Levi's snapped his eyes open and glare at Erwin. _The nerve of hi–!_

"Fine." He spat out. "Time and date."

A smirk. "Next Thursday, at four."

* * *

And that was why Armin found Levi hunched over his phone, cursing ever swear word he's heard before in English and a few others in another language he couldn't identify. _Sounds like French, or Mandarin, but then again, my linguistic ability sucks._

"Um, sir?" Armin said softly, not wanting to surprise the man when his weapon was just beside him.

Unfortunately for the young man, Levi was too focused on the game and trying not to slam his phone into the wall. Clearing his throat and flexing his muscles for the expected unintentional assault, Armin increased his volume by two notches, "Sir?"

As expected, a knuckle would have been embedded between his eyes if he had not dodged swiftly. Slowly lifting himself up, Armin removed the stack of piles held above his ahead, hoping it would somehow be able to offer a little protection in case he wasn't fast enough.

"Armin?" Levi stared at him as if he is seeing him in a new light.

"Yes."

"So, you lost the bet." It was more of a fact than a statement.

Suddenly feeling conscious of his new hairstyle, Armin smothered down his hair, wondering if he looked terrible. "Yeah, by one point."

"At least you pulled this shit off better than Erwin." It's the truth; not everybody is suited to have an undercut. Levi showed up one day with an undercut and the next day, Erwin got it done too, said something along the lines of _it's good to have changes in life every once in a while_. Levi sneered because the following week, Mike sported the same hairstyle, and Auruo the next, then Jean. _The day Eren gets an undercut is the day he dies_, Levi swears.

"I sure hope so." Armin laughed a little. Remembering his purpose, he passed the stack of papers to the seated man. "Here are the reports for the week."

_There goes 'no paperwork day'._

"Anything I should know beforehand?" Levi asked.

"Nothing significant, but Erwin said he is on his way here to see my current look and to make good use for his bet with you?" Armin sounded confused at the end but Levi doesn't blame the boy.

"Hating that guy is way easier than screaming expletives all day long." Glaring at his phone as if it has Erwin-cooties on it.

"Huh?"

Armin is an inquisitive little shit so Levi didn't bother to hide the bet. At the end of his wonderful speech of hate, Armin could only say, "Good luck, sir. Really."

"No shit. I need more than luck to deal with that ass."

Armin didn't know what else to say since there are no tips he could give that would be of any use other than "try not to rip your hair out", so he left the immaculate office.

Levi was _not_ looking forward to seeing Erwin.

* * *

A/N 1: I deleted Flappy Bird five minutes after I played it.

A/N 2: I dedicate short-hair Armin to the lovely pammazola ~

A/N 3: You can see how Armin looks like on my Tumblr post for this chapter.


	5. Won't You Make A Contract With Me?

**Chpt 5: Won't You Make A Contract With Me?**

Levi couldn't decide whether he hated Erwin or hated Erwin. When he mentioned he couldn't wait to see the bitch again, he hadn't meant it this way!

"Welcome to 'Sweets for my Sweet'!"

There she was, Petra Ral, standing beside his table in all her glory, placing a few copies of the menu gently in front of them with a service smile. If he had a choice, the menu would have met her face the moment he laid his eyes on her, but alas, Sina.

"Today's special is 'Lemon Angel Cake, though I wouldn't recommend it if you are feeling constipated," Petra mumbled the last part under her breath but Levi still caught it. He turned to glare openly at her and she met him with equivalent ferocity but with a deceptive smile. "If you are ready to order, feel free to call over any of us." Petra turned to head back to her post behind the counter.

_Sassy bitch._

"Damn. She's definitely gonna give you a run for your money if you ever get involved with her," Erd said while rubbing his stubble thoughtfully.

"Who," Levi started sharply, "In their right mind would get involved with her?"

Three pairs of eyes turned to him, much to his chagrin.

"What?" Levi spat out.

"Well… The last time you–" Auruo started.

"Actually got laid was with that–"

"_Feisty_ club hostess two years ago," Gunther ended with a sagely nod.

Levi's brow twitched. "And your point is?"

"You seem to prefer to sleep with… how should I phrase this… women who probably give you a _hard_ time in bed?"

Erd and Auruo quickly turned the other way round to hide their snickers from their fuming captain who looked like he was about to explode.

"And is there a problem with that?"

Before anyone could give Levi a slap-inducing answer, Petra came back to take their orders even though it'd been only three minutes since she left them and they had yet to flip through the menu.

"Have you guys decided what to order?" she asked cheerfully; in her mind, she had already chased them out with the broom faster than you could scream _begone, evil!_

"I'll have the coffee smoothie and a slice of tiramisu," Erd said while hastily flipping through the menu; good thing the pages were laminated.

"I'll get the smoked salmon sandwich with extra tomatoes, and a cappuccino." Erd scrunched his face when he heard Auruo said _tomatoes_; yucks.

"One chocolate croissant, one fat-free muffin, and iced lemon tea."

Everyone, including Levi, raised an eyebrow at that particular order but nobody said a thing.

Petra turned to the only one remaining who had yet to give his order. "How about you, sir?"

"Short black."

Petra almost snickered at the order; a short person ordering a short black. "Anything else?"

Although Petra hadn't made any motion, Levi could tell she was holding back a laugh judging from the gleam in her eyes. "And to fuck off."

The struggling honey-haired woman quickly assured them their orders would be served shortly before hurrying back to the kitchen to let it all go; she didn't even let the last order get to her. After laughing like Hanji for a good two minutes while her girls stared at her, wondering if Hanji had somehow managed to possess their manager, she headed back out to brew some grounds.

Petra was very tempted to _accidentally_ add salt into that asshole's short black but alas, he is a customer and a handsome one at that if he weren't so constipated. _This world is so cruel_, she sighs as she walked to their table at the corner, hands full with their orders.

Placing their food before them, Levi picked up his coffee and asked in a bored tone, "You sure you didn't spit in it?" as he tilted the cup left and right to show he didn't trust it.

"As much as I would love to, it's unprofessional. Enjoy!"Petra all but smiled sweetly; in her head, she had set the wolves on Levi twenty times and some.

"Bitch," he grumbled after she had gone behind the counter.

His companions shook their heads, all simultaneously thinking _he never grows up_; in all senses.

The café was nice, they have to admit. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming, not that their base wasn't – clean, yes, but not exactly homely – but it was nice to see other people for a change. It doesn't help that everyone has a dick and acts like one; there is zero femininity! They miss the curves and sights of venus, their angelic voice, albeit non-angelic when they are shrieking their head when they are PMSing; and a male's smiling face_ just isn't the same._

While Erd, Gunther and Auruo were enjoying themselves off base, Levi's foul mood wasn't dissipating. In fact, seeing Petra flitting around with that stupid smile on her face pissed him off more than it should have.

Levi raised his hand to call Petra over but Annie noticed it first, making the poor girl cringe mentally.

"Anything I can help you with, sir?" she said stiffly. There is no way she could pull a smile for the asshole who insulted her, even if it's fake.

"For starters, I did not call for an ugly. Second, I want that– " He points to Petra, "Person to serve me." Levi demanded. He had decided to be an asshole because he could and it's worth it if he could humiliate her in front of all her customers.

Annie stomped away before she could flip his table and smack him on the head with her empty tray. Petra noticed the fuming stoic blond approaching her.

"What's up?"

"My temper, for one. You've been summoned by that short prick with the short black."

Petra shifted her eyes subtly and caught the infuriating half smirk directed at her; he was watching, and planning.

"Oh god. Why the fuck is he even here in the first place? Shouldn't he be stretching his body or something, to grow tall?" she complained while passing the strainer to Annie, who not-so-discreetly scratched her head with her middle finger in Levi's direction.

The moment Petra asked if she could help them with anything, Levi slammed his untouched coffee onto the woodgrain table, contents spilling out and spreading over the edge, the dark liquid dripping onto the floor and some onto Petra's shoes.

"What kind of shitty coffee is this? Are you sure you didn't put anything weird in it? Because it tastes worse than what my nephew brews." Levi may not have raised his voice but his action earlier had caught the attention of other patrons sitting near his unwelcomed presence.

Petra's sharp instincts had never failed her, and it sure didn't when she saw him and his crew step into her shop. She knew it was going to be a long day with him around, causing unnecessary trouble for her because she knew how much they hated each other, especially after that club incident not too long ago.

"I apologise if the taste is not to your liking. Would you like to exchange for another cup of the same order or would you prefer another drink?" Sure, Petra could always flip their table and stab her dagger into his chest but it would cause a scene too troublesome to clean up so, no.

"Same order, but make sure it doesn't taste like crap this time." Levi made a _tch_ sound once she left. Here he had hoped she would smack him one so he could have the perfect reason to _defend_ himself.

He faced the three stumped stooges. Erd's pale chestnut orbs had bulged out, making him resemble a goldfish; Gunther stared at him unimpressed and if Levi weren't looking at him, he definitely would be shaking his onion head; Auruo had bitten his tongue again.

"What?" Levi felt like a small child under scrutiny and he refused to let that surface.

Before the bunch of older and sometimes-wiser men could give Levi a legit reason to kick their asses into oblivion, Petra came back with another cup of piping hot coffee.

"Here you go," she placed the cup carefully, "Please enjoy."

Petra had walked not even three steps away before she heard another complain. "I smell milk in this shit and the spoon has a stain on it. Do you even wash them properly?"

_Why the fuck did his parents not use a condom?!_

Hiding one fist behind the tray, clenching it until her knuckles turned white, Petra approached his table once again with her anger reined in. "I can assure you there is no milk in it, sir, because I'm the one who brewed it. As for your spoon, I'll replace it with a clean one."

_Fucking liar_, Petra could see her flawless complexion in her reflection.

"Why can't we just hurl him out like the douche he is?" Annie gritted out, the lemon in her palm being squeezed to its last drop of essence.

"As much as I'd love to, I can't. Although if he keeps this up, I'm just going to _accidentally_ splash the hot drink onto his dick." Petra fumed; the invisible tethers of excellent customer service strained to its limit.

Just as Petra picked up a new shiny spoon for the asshole, a loud crash was heard. The manager whipped her head around, looking for the source of the crash and found Sasha on the ground, broken china and splattered drinks all around her figure. Rushing over to check on girl, Petra helped Sasha up and saw she had bitten her lip quite badly, blood flowing like a loose tap.

"Oh my god, let's get you cleaned up." Petra led the injured girl to her office, Krista helping her while Ymir and Annie already got the cleaning tools out. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that the mess hadn't gotten onto the other diners' clothes or shoes.

While Krista was dabbing the disinfected cotton wool onto Sasha's injured lip, the poor girl hissing away at the biting feeling she felt every time the disinfectant does it job, Petra asked what happened.

"I swear I wasn't looking at the patron's food this time. I was carrying table three's orders and the next thing I knew, I tripped onto something."

"Tripped on something? Did that 'something' feel like a foot?" Petra had a nagging suspicion.

"Come to think of it, yeah. It felt like what happened to me in grade five. Small feet." Sasha hissed again when the acting nurse sadistically pressed on her wound, "Not talking about yours, Kris. Chill."

The petite 'nurse' smirked.

"I think this needs to come to an end." Petra stood up, determined to purge the vermin from her sanctuary. "In the meantime, rest up for a while. But don't let me catch you falling asleep on the couch again."

The moment Petra closed the door, Sasha had sprawled herself out, Krista shaking her head while putting back the first aid kit.

The mess had been cleared, floor mopped and wiped dry, and the unwelcomed bunch was still lounging on their asses.

Before Petra could accuse the short prick – it's not accusing at all, really, since Levi was the culprit – of tripping her girl and not apologising, Levi complained like an unreasonable old man again. "Your waitress tripped and caused such a mess. Don't you people have any compensation for disturbing our meal? Even though I'm paying for it, it's so not worth my money. The utensils are dirty (_asshole_), the waiting time is long (_we don't sell microwavable food, dumbass_), and the food is bland (_you didn't even fucking ordered any food_)."

Petra was about to tell him to take his business elsewhere when a scruffy man approached them with caution.

Facing Levi with a stiff posture, he asked, "Are you, perhaps by any chance, Levi? From Void?"

The tall man was met with a scathing glare from the seated jerk. "Who the fuck are you?" Levi growled, hair on his neck bristled while his hands slowly reached for his brass knuckles.

Tension could be felt around them; nobody would utter out their gang name so casually without a care in the world in Sina because you never know who might be listening in; even Petra's fight instincts got kicked in.

"I'm Nile, Nile Dawk, a scout from 'Glimmer L Magazine'."

_Wait, what?_

* * *

Glimmer L Magazine; the best selling magazine in Wall Town. They cover fashion of both men and women; from winter wear to summer frocks; sexy boxers to classy lingerie; spunky boots to ludicrous heels. They cover every uncovered fashion news, nothing escapes their ears and eyes, not even the mayor's type of underwear.

* * *

"What the fuck does a scout want from me? I ain't no model material in case your eyesight is failing you."

_Wait a minute, did I just backhand myself?_

"On the contrary, you are everything we are looking for. In fact, Erwin had introduced you to me and said I could find you here today, thus my presence. It seems he's right. You are fit to be a model."

While Dawk was concentrating on short black, Auruo, Erd, and Gunther was secretly weeping in their minds because apparently, they are not model material. Their hopes and dreams of making it big is just a cruel figment of their imagination. Heck, Dawk's squinty eyes didn't even flicker in their direction!

"Wait. You said 'Erwin', right?"

"That's right. The tall blond with an undercut just like yours."

_THAT FUCKER! NO WONDER HE WAS SO FREAKING ADAMANT ON THAT BLOODY BIRD BET!_

While Levi was mentally drawing out plans to castrate Erwin, Dawk said, "And he has already signed the contract on your behalf."

"Wait wait wait! What contract!?" he snapped out of his stupor. He hadn't heard a thing about this!

"The three-year contract to be GLM's model, of course. Erwin has a copy of it and–"

Before Dawk could finish his sentence, Levi had already rushed out the door to hunt that _son of a bitch_, leaving the bill to his poor friends who were still wallowing in their miserable despair. "Hey!" Erd reluctantly slapped a fifty on the table and chased after his friend.

With the vermin gone, Petra heaved a sigh of relief. _Good riddance. I hope he trips, falls and dies._

The sweet manager then heard noticed Dawk was speaking to her, "And you, miss" He looks at her name tag, "Petra. Would you like to be a model?"

"Me?" Her eyes widened at the offer; she has never heard of a model that was shorter than Hanji.

"Yes, your height will not be a problem since you will not be going on live shows."

"I appreciate the offer but I don't feel like I'm suited to be one," she said shyly.

"The pay is rather good, much more than what you could ever earn from this café." Dawk then lowered his voice, "And I'm sure you need funds to keep Vogel safe and sound from harm, don't you?

Petra's tiny smile transformed into a devil's glare in a blink of an eye; it seemed like he isn't any run-of-the-mill scout. It's true Vogel needs the money to run their black and white side, after all, nothing is free in this world.

"Send me the contract and I'll look over it. You shall have my reply in a week's time." Petra ended the conversation after picking up the bill Erd had left.

* * *

A/N 1: Thank you Pammazola senpai for proofreading this chapter!

A/N 2: Levi has no nephew. I will pity his nephew if he has one.

A/N 3: Ten points to those who get the reference of this chapter's title


	6. Hell Is A Place on Earth

**Chpt 6: Hell Is A Place on Earth**

Petra was stuck; sure, the pay was beyond awesome but she had never imagined herself as a model before. She has the looks and figure, that's for sure, but the young woman doesn't like heels and make-up. She could forgo the make-up since she was a natural beauty and really, Petra could count with one hand for the number of times she has applied the annoying powder in her life.

Slamming her emptied glass of scotch onto the bar top, Hanji asked her bestie, "So what are you gonna do? The pay is sexy and you get to dress up and see half naked hunks." Hanji could just imagine herself being surrounded by A&F-worthy models, seated on a posh couch holding a golden cup of red wine.

"Hanji, snap out of it." Petra snapped her fingers in front of the grinning bespectacled woman who had started drooling. With the spell broken, Hanji came back down to earth, Clearing her throat, she proceeded to order vodka on the rocks, planning to wipe Petra's wallet clean this time if she could collapse before the night ends; scheming bitch.

"If you think it's worth trying then go for it. It's always nice to experience new stuff and see new things. Don't you feel bored being in the café all day? I mean, even the girls have other side jobs and actually has a life outside of the cafe. You; you only commute between the café and our base and your dreary apartment and when was the last time you had the D?"

Petra gag reflexes kicked in when she heard the last question. "Shut the fuck up." She spluttered, wiping her mouth with a napkin. "Your predicament isn't any better than mine and I know you hadn't gotten laid for some time now and this isn't even a part of our agenda for today's meeting!"

Hanji laughed good-heartedly and slammed a few pats on her flustered friend, "Oh Petra baby, this isn't your first day knowing me."

Petra mumbled a few curses and took a swig of her own alcoholic beverage, swallowing her frustrations and urge to throttle the grinning woman beside her. "I suppose I could give it a shot…"

"That's my Petra baby! And for that, I'm gonna make a toast to you!"

"Don't think I have no idea what you are trying to do. You're paying for your own drinks."

* * *

Two weeks later on a gloomy Friday, Petra trudged into her apartment like a zombie. Literally dragging her drained body into her dark apartment, she flopped her drained figure onto her comfortable couch, wondering if an angel could shower her weary body. Instead of an angel, a devil rang her doorbell.

Opening the wooden door without a single care in the world, Petra wasn't surprised to see a few other devils tagging along with the master devil. "Why the fuck are you all here? Don't you bunch of Lucifers have work to do?" She greeted, not caring whether her neighbours heard her cusses in the wind.

Stepping pass the disgruntled woman, Nanaba, Hanji, Rico and Anka welcomed themselves into her apartment – Rene absent since the busy woman was on a business trip –, totally ignoring her calls of protests to _get the fuck out I wanna get some fucking sleep_. "Yeah, you should get some _fucking_ sleep, if you catch my drift." Anka snickered, in a relaxed mood for once.

Petra let out a strangled cry, clenching her fist halfway in an attempt to crunch the murderous urge rising in her. "Why are all of you here anyway? How did you know I'm home? Did you–" she points a painted nail to Hanji, "plant a tracking device on me?"

"Have you forgotten my occupation?" Rico spoke up from her spot on Petra's turquoise beanbag chair, the shapeless thing moulded to the shape of its occupant's figure. Pushing her specs up while smirking with an expression Petra has known too well; her famous _don't underestimate my resources because you will sorely regret it_ expression, one that fits her because the woman has more contacts than the number of salt you have consumed.

"Bitch whatever." She mumbled, rolling her eyes as she headed to her kitchen to serve her annoying guests some mild poison; it wouldn't do any good if she had to dispose of four corpses all by herself. They all but threw themselves at Petra when they saw her carrying cans of beer, "Savagers… which jungle did you all escape from?" The woman cringed at her choice of friends, wondering what they had in common.

Shaking her head because she had given up her conquest on taming the beasts, she kicked Hanji's smelly feet off the couch to make space for her own ass. Propping an elbow on the couch arm and resting her head on her knuckles, she asked lazily, "So, what have I done to warrant a house raid?" cuddling one of her many small cushions, eyes drooping at a dangerous rate.

Kicking Petra's thigh as revenge and to wake the woman up, Hanji pretended the lethal scowl on Petra's face was a gentle smile. "Don't worry, we won't keep you up for long. We will leave that to your next partner." Petra flipped the finger to which Hanji flipped back. "Yeah, I hope someone fucks you too."

"All we want is something to gossip about, AKA your new job."

Petra stared at the only blond in the house. "Since when do you gossip?"

Nanaba folded her arms behind her head, "Since now because this is interesting."

_What the fuck_.

"Fine, tell me what you want to know. After that, scram!" Petra saw four shit-eating grins and started to regret her decision.

"Ok, first question." Anka raised her hand as if she was a student. "Did anybody made you come at first sight?"

Her answer was not one, but two bewildered and two cringing faces. "What the hell kind of question is that?" Nanaba turned towards the grinning woman who looked a little too pleased.

"Uhm, my kind of question? Hehehehe…" Her laughter trailed off once she realised nobody appreciated her sense of humour.

Petra was stunned but she decided to entertain the woman who knew shame. "No. The people there weren't my type but they are nice people. I don't mind working with them, for now."

The annoying four made sounds of acknowledgement; at least they knew she was alright with her new environment. "What kind of stuff did you do today? What kind of clothes did you modelled?"

"They gave me a quick tour of their building; it's a bloody maze. I almost got lost when I went to the toilet and couldn't find my way back to the photoshoot studio. They tried several styles of make-up and it was kinda fun since I didn't need to do anything. They didn't pass me any clothes to model yet; today was just a trial shot to let me get used to the pace and to get a feel of being a model."

"So how was it? Being in front of the camera? Did you get nervous? Did you do everything alone?" At least Nanaba asked normal questions.

"Like shit? Because apparently I wasn't the lone newbie." At this, Petra gritted her teeth, recalling the oh-so-memorable experience.

"Pray tell, Petra baby."

"I saw that son of a bitch!" At that, Petra threw her pillow across the living room and out the window that was so conveniently opened.

The four looked at each other, all of them had a clue as to who that son of a bitch was but not quite ascertained of it. "Do you mean, Levi? That prickly midget?"

"Yes, that bloody midget. Just imagine the horror I experienced the moment I saw him in the make-up room. Too bad the make-up artist didn't manage to poke him in the eye with the eyeliner."

* * *

Petra looked like she was about to combust for real; the moment the two laid eyes on each other, the people in the room swore they saw sparks flew out of their eyes.

Good thing Petra managed to rein in her temper and anger and not claw those blue orbs of his. Instead of an exciting day to learn new stuff and experiencing new feels of another industry, it wordlessly turned into a competition of some sorts between Petra and Levi. Whoever could get the most praises from their colleagues wins. Needless to say, Petra won everyone, except the fuming dwarf, over with her charismatic personality. Her smiles and cooperativeness were much appreciated and as quoted, she was a natural for this job.

Levi, on the other hand, was as awkward as a virgin at an orgy party. He couldn't smile – the cameraman ended up telling him to strike some cool poses instead –, couldn't stand all the damned _too-fucking-bright_ spotlights shining into his eyes – he doesn't like having his picture taken in the first place –, and being forced into this shit didn't make anything better for him. His ego and pride took another hit when he saw Petra enjoying herself while he was having an antagonizing time. The only thing that got him through the day was him mentally chanting _fuck that bitch fuck that bitch fuck that bitch_; not in that way, and him looking forward to seeing the horror on Erwin's face the moment his ultimate revenge of dipping his balls into that asshole's mouth was fulfiled.

* * *

"I hope you didn't commit homicide in broad daylight with so many witnesses around." Rico will not and never cover an article that involves her sisters; it's troublesome and emotionally scarring.

Petra scowled, "I'm not that stupid. Even if I wanted to, I will have to drug his bloody mind first before laying a hand on him. That guy's strong, I'll have to admit." She had read a recent report saying how he took down five guys at one go without incurring any injury, not even a single scratch. Settling back onto the couch and grabbing another pillow Hanji'd hugged, Petra swiped an opened can and took a huge gulp. Wiping her mouth with the back of her jacket rather roughly, she said, "I only pray I won't see him after today."

* * *

But as luck has it, her modelling manager informed her that Levi would be her partner for her first project. Petra shrieked.

* * *

A/N 1: A rather short chapter since this is just a transition. Next will be longer and more exciting. I can imagine them not working together for their first shoot HA!


End file.
